I’ve been rollicking in the glow of what Blood calls “a perfect storm,” the confluence of good cards, good reads, and my usual hyper-aggressive style. Actually, it’s just hyper. I can tilt a table in 90 seconds flat. That’s how I roll.

I had 11 consecutive winning sessions live, and many of them were for very big wins, before losing a buyin (and a half) on Monday night. Still, even when I’m playing well, I’m never far removed from thinking I suck at poker.

Probably, that’s because I do, in fact, suck at poker.

But I digress…

WORKING BACKWARDS

So, I played last Friday and almost got stabbed. Actually, there’s a bit of embellishment there, but not a helluva lot. I was in the 1 seat, Otis in the 2, and the guy in the 3 seat, (his nickname was “slow”… as in retarded… which he didn’t seem to mind), and we came very close to a stabbing.

The strangest part of the incident is that I did absolutely NOTHING to provoke it. God knows I piss people off. Sometimes it’s on purpose, sometimes it situs online  , but in this case, the witnesses will attest, I did NOTHING to this particular retard. But he wanted to stab me nonetheless.

LATELY

This happened at the ol’ Spring Hotel. I must confess, it took me a good 6 months to understand WHY Otis calls the place “Spring Hotel” but it dawned on me last night. It’s sort of like calling the host, Tallahassee. That ain’t his name, but it’s in the same ballpark.

I’ve been hitting the place at least once a week for the past several months. It’s an old 2 bedroom house, just off the road, owned by a man who lives there and plays occasionally, but rented for 3 weekly games. They always play $1/$2NL with a $200 max buy.

It’s wierd that I play there so much. The dealer is good enough, but likes to talk during every hand which slows the play. There’s a 5% rake on every hand with no max, and with occasional dealer tokes it does crimp the EV a bit. Plus, it’s a semi-advertised game, the kind every player in G-Vegas knows all about, so there is always a risk of bust.

Still, I can’t stop.

I haven’t had a losing session there in over 3 months. Most sessions I win big. Most players there are totally awful, and the ones with mediocre skills have more tells than a bratty first grader. I’ve cashed for more than 5 buyins 4 times.

500 pounds of ANGER

The problem here should be rather obvious. This is a good game, with a few dozen regular players and the house, “Tallhassee,” does pretty well from the rake, but none of the players are the type who can easily afford their gambling jones. My guess is this unskilled menagerie simply passed their money back and forth for years, with the table always skimming a steady profit.

One donkey wins another donkey loses, sure that the roles will flip next week. Everyone is happy and everyone is on the verge of becoming a WINNING PLAYER.

Last Wednesday I heard one of the donkeys, one of the worst actually, say he was ready to quit his job and hit the road as a pro.

Christ I laughed at that one.

But what happens to this sort of game when ACTUAL POKER PLAYERS show up? Turns out the host ain’t thrilled.

I’ve taken thousands from these folks. They aren’t winning it back. BadBlood and Otis are now regulars as well. It’s like a powerful EV magnet sucking the room to the negative pole.

The donkeys are no longer on the verge of anything.

Except broke.